I'm Still Here
by Mispent Youth
Summary: Cuddy's thoughts as she sits by House's bedside at the end of the Season 4 finale, slight Spoilers!


_And I'm BACK!! I know it's been ages since I last posted a story, but my muse was lost. Seriously, I don't know what happened I just couldn't get motivated to write an even interesting story. But hopefully this one will suffice, although there is like no dialogue just Cuddy's thoughts and feelings so it might actually bore you. Anyway my faithful and fellow HUDDY fans, enjoy._

_Also a side note, I'm not abandoning House but I am gonna be branching out and writing for other shows as well. So you might not see a lot of House stories from me, but I will still be writing for House, I do still love him. _

**I'm Still Here**

Dr. Lisa Cuddy was still curled up in the chair, but this time she was awake. She had been for twenty minutes now and had spent that time, staring at her friend and thinking about him too. Dr. Gregory House had been involved in a bus crash and his best friend's girlfriend had been involved too and unfortunately she had died from her injuries, though House still lived on. To suffer and be even more isolated from the world.

Cuddy sighed heavily as she realised what this may to do to House. She knew many nurses and Doctor's who passed his room and stared inside we wondering what the hell she was doing, staying with him. She had thought about it many times, because even just thinking about all the things House had done over just the past fours years was exhausting. There was him taking up patients again, ridiculing albeit teaching his team in tortuous ways, then there was his bizarre and infuriating way of hiring a new team. The whole Vogler issue and him costing the hospital thousands, him getting shot, his ex coming back into the picture (OK, Cuddy took the blame for that one, she was the one who hired Stacy), then him getting arrested and Tritter making his life a misery, the cancer scare, and all that time House was always teasing and tormenting her, verbally battling her and sometimes even cruel-hearted.

And yet, they were still friends. She didn't know how or why they still were, they just were. Maybe it was familiarity, their history, maybe it was because they were all each other really had, maybe it was even love, but whatever it was, Cuddy would have to find out soon. Because right now, House needed a friend _more than ever_.

True, Wilson had lost his girlfriend but he was a nice guy, so he was gonna have the whole hospital rallying around him. No one liked House, he didn't even have any family, not really. All he had was Cuddy right then.

She knew a lot of people were wondering what the hell she was doing staying on his side, but it wasn't really about sides. She knew Wilson would eventually forgive House, but House would probably never forgive himself. Sure, House like to play the bastard and didn't feel guilty for much, but that was his mask. Cuddy knew, he did feel things even though he would never ever admit it, even on his own deathbed. Something he had lain on a few times.

Because if you looked at it, it really wasn't House's fault. He had called Wilson for a lift, he didn't want Amber to pick him up and as soon as he realised it was her, he left and caught the bus. He never intended for her to be on that bus, _she _had chosen to join him. And of course, House most certainly didn't cause the bus crash. And he went through hell, hallucinating and pumping himself full of drugs, trying to recall who was hurt in the crash. And Amber was the one who had hid her medicine from Wilson, preventing her necessary treatment, that wasn't House's fault either.

Yet, if anything went wrong in the hospital, House was always gonna be the scapegoat. He was easy to blame, he was cruel and uncaring, at least that's what everyone else saw. But Cuddy didn't, she knew deep down, House was feeling guilty and upset for his best friend. And was terrified Wilson would hate him, and maybe he would for a few weeks, but he _would _come around to House eventually.

But for now Cuddy would remain. She would stay with her friend for as long as she was needed, and she knew that House would always need her. Even if _he _didn't realise that.

She heard him groan as he woke up, she moved and grasped his hand. Time to let him know, she had forgiven him.

"It's me Greg. I'm still here."


End file.
